Hank's Head

This is Not Me (Yet)

February 16, 2021

Muscular Bodybuilder Doing Biceps Workout With A Bicep Curl

I asked a fitness expert how long it would take working out with weights three times a week to get in shape. She said, “You mean in shape like a guy who walks down the street and other guys see him and wish they could look like that but know they never will because they like beer and pizza way too much?” “Yeah,” I realized, “that kind of in shape.” Four years. Four years? I was not expecting that answer. I don’t know what I was expecting. Six months? That would be nice. But this is a cover-of-Men’s-Fitness-magazine-body we’re talking here, not a back ordered night stand from Pottery Barn.

I read somewhere (possibly reputable) that big change happens in small steps. It’s not the week you almost died doing a juice cleanse that gets you down to your wedding weight and keeps you there, it’s the million times over three years you don’t eat that handful of peanut M&Ms. Or order those cheese fries from In N Out. Or eat those cheese fries from In N Out off your son’s plate.

The little things add up. One ant weighs three milligrams but 1.5 million ants weigh one pound! Think about that next time someone says, “You look good, have you lost weight?” Instead of saying, “Thanks, I cut out sugar and lost ten pounds,” you can say “I better look good, I just dropped fifteen million ants.”

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