Hank's Head

Is it wrong to be happy that your kid is sick?

October 10, 2021

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I probably shouldn’t say this out loud but I think there is an upside to my kids getting sick. I’m not talking about sick sick, like COVID sick, or starting a Go Fund Me to raise money for surgery sick. I’m just talking about mild sick, like a cold. I’m also not saying I want my kids to get sick. That would make me sick. I’m just saying, if it’s going to happen, why not enjoy it?

One positive is that it not only weakens their immune system, it also weakens their will to argue. And fight. And demand things from the grocery store. “Get whatever you think is best” is a phrase I never thought I would hear from my 12 year old son. In a non-sick world, typical demands include “Get cookie dough,” “Get gum,” and “Don’t get all that gross stuff you usually get.” 

Choosing programming is also a much more pleasant experience. When I suggest a double feature of Planet of the Apes and Creed, I get a faint but agreeable nod. On a healthy day, I would hear “Those movies are trash,” “Cringe,” “I am not watching that abomination,” and a plaintive cry as he races away on his hoverboard.

And it goes without saying that fighting with his 8 year old brother is non-existent. Of course it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Puking on the couch, the carpet, and my cashmere blanket are obvious downsides. But that’s what laundromats are for!

See how I brought it all back to laundry?

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